I don’t have a topic. I need a topic. How do I plan a topic. Lol. Make a list? Get a blog planner? I found one, now to use it. Uh oh. How do I do that? Not a clue. I have been busy planning and printing for the school year. But I have been doing well sticking to my new habits so for now just shout out post to the tools I use to help me change my life for the better.

Bit shout out to pinterest, how can you not like it. I found my blog planner, my garden planner, my homeschool planner, my de-clutter guide, what didn’t I find on there? Ha a husband. Pinterest has added a lot to my life between that at YouTube. I am on fire getting my life back. Functioning with children is hard. You really do have to learn how to live optimally again. Without personal reflection you might not realize you are NOT operating  at your fullest potential. You are just a hamster on a wheel going through the motions happy no one has fallend to their deaths. Like for real. I live on the top floor of an apartment and my oldest son managed to open the screen. Why? To see fireworks. What was I doing wrong that my oldest son doesn’t realize that opening the screen to see fireworks is not a good idea? It is my job to teach him and sadly I had failed. My house was a mess. We where doing chores all over each other. I am gaining weight due to stress and eating the boys left overs simply not to waste food. ? Back the truck up. We have plenty of food. I don’t need to do that. But stress can cloud your vision. Maybe I was eating to stop from yelling. Either way not healthy.

Next shout out award goes to FABULOUS app and 8fit, I have Google fit but never used it. I don’t like being tracked. Lol but the free version of fabulous and 8fit work marvelous. I have worked out happily with my children 15 days in a row now. Fabulous motivates me to do it and 8fit has adaptable routines to music we love. And they have a wide selection of stations in the app to fit anyone.

For my 33rd birthday I treated myself to a brand new blackberry PRIV. I am in heaven with this phone I raved about the Motorola juke b a while ago because of the keyboard. I gushed over everything. This phone is the best of everything on the market. But no play, how did I find it? I am a tech nerd and I know how to Google for what I want. Edge scrolling secure blackberry framework with and android os. I am in heaven yall. This phone has a productivity suite I had no idea I needed, until I awoke from my postpartum motherhood haze and saw the disaster that was my home. No wonder I was neglecting my blogging desire to document my life for posterity for my children. I was exhausted running in in circles going no where. Haha tunnel vision of my cage. Thank goodness I broke out. With my productivity suite, I was so organized I was able to download more audible books hah which lead me to the book “Listful Thinking” which pushed me over the edge in productivity. I have always been a list maker, but YOU CAN MAKE LISTS WRONG! I was making list wrong. I got deep interesting my lists and tada. I remembered to go to the designer blog website signup for the newsletter and get the free planner I saw on pinterest. I downloaded it. I have not used it. But I have my list of topics just not fleshed out.

I am a homeschooler and I am alone. I have delved into the Charlotte Mason way of mother culture. Listening to blogs and I found a braindump planner sheet. The fabulous app reminds me to do my morning pages. But with the brain dump pages I don’t have a fog and I remember more because all the crap is in a list where I can find it. Instead of my pile of notebooks no table of contents. Almost as full as a sea of some well planned thoughts. But lost in the currents of time. The pages folded in on each other’s good ideas lost never to be seen again. As an entrepreneur that is potential income thrown away. Omg the things I have learned in the podcasts from homeschooling mothers. When I start using my blog planner I will make better notes to share.

I am happy that it has been a week and I remembered to stick to my promise to blog weekly. My tools are being put to use and the climb up to greatness will be long but rewarding.

I just realized I didn’t post about my father’s death in 2016. The real reason I departed from blogging that year was simple. After my post on my birthday he died one month later. I was in a tail spin. I had not fully rested. I was mad the nursing home did such a poor job. I was mad Cmha messed up my dad’s belonging. So many emotions and feelings to work through not in a public forum. I spread my father’s ashes at the MLK monument AND enjoyed my first trip via train with my boys. I met my relatives from my mother’s side of the family I had never met before and realized I have kindred spirits in my mother’s side where I am a black sheep in my father’s side. My strength comes from strong women I never had the pleasure of meeting before the age of 26. I finally get to see the whole picture that equals me. So 2016 was rough, but it catapulted me in to this magnificent 2017 year. I am overflowing with happiness and enthusiasm for the years to come.

I am so excited. I figured out how to home educate my children so they are happy to learn and I am happy to teach. Took me three years and a slow start but I have chiseled out enough time to read articles and books and watch blogs from the best. I downloaded planners created my own discover someone was selling a copy of a planner I had been making by hand since high school which I found hilarious. But I am not a hater. I never tried so I can’t be mad the success was not mine. I don’t have to do the work to digitize my planner so win in my book.

I am not a writer. I am not the best when it comes to the are of grammar. I am sure you get what I am saying. So thanks to some very smart woman  like Charlotte Mason, pam barnhill and the creator of the design-your-homeschool.com I was guided in the right direction to get my homeschool in gear. I found my focus and truest desire for my boys down on paper and in order. Thanks to accountable kids, I organized family meetings and discussed with my children what it is they wanted to learn and how they wanted to learn it. Thanks to andrea Mills for cementing in my mind I don’t want a Christian based curriculum and that church at home is OK. Andrea helped me organize so much almost every thing really when it comes to motivating and keeping my boys on track. Thank you just see Trish for pointing me in Andreas direction, and entertaining me along the way. Trish also helped me realize I like the idea of a virtual coop and that I can’t be a curriculum junkie. There are so many good curriculums out there but no one is perfect and I could go broke trying to catch them all as if they were Pokémon. But like any addiction I had to learn how to say no.

I have to back track because I can’t say enough about Andrea Mills. I want o cry when I think about how beautifully she runs her home and how similar we are. Even though she uses a Christian based curriculum I know where her heart is and she made home schooling easy by using the curriculum she was familiar with and MADE IT HER OWN! She inspired me to take the Calvert curriculum I already have and make it work. I even took inspiration from the A.C.E. Star chart and made my SAGE chart. Pure gold.

The fly lady helped me to get my house in order one zone at a time instead of trying to kill myself cleaning the entire house in one day. Easy is a godsend with it charts and stickers and stamps. I want to scream I am so happy. My house isn’t perfect but I can walk around and not trip over toys. I can find my clothes. (Yes, my clothes got lost, it was bad).

Shout out to buildyourlibrary.com for being another kindred spirt in the curriculum and family dynamic realm and providing a super pre history curriculum source. And a wonderful addition to my little passport subscription and not making story of the world blah, she introduced me to elemental science. I would die with out it and their podcast. I have a new good reads friend and knowledge of the Sea homeschooling group and the Ohio Waterpark gathering for homeschoolers. Not directly to the Waterpark gathering but while I was looking for information on S.E.A. groups in Ohio.

Thanks to books by the foot, woodenbooks, forgotten books, teachingchildrenphilosopy.com and uua.org for providing me with collection of worthwhile books my children will cherish for generations and to fill my library to the brim. Thank you hoopla and overdrive and kindle unlimited because I don’t have room for all the books I want right now and some of the ones I checked out before I bought turned out to be duds so thanks for saving me money.

I know I might be forgetting a few right now who have transformed me into a homeschooling phenom, fired up and ready to be a juggernaut  educating my two boys to be the next leaders of the world. Truth, beauty and goodness are my goals. Confident, strong willed men my vision  so clear, of my children blossoming out of the fertilizer of my first few (failed attempts, from my point of view, the boys none the wiser) years of home education. I know I have the tools I need to bring those goals and my vision to fruition. I am on a mission and I have my garden plan ready. The soil is rich, I have the drive and desire to tend it fully, through blood, sweat, and tears. There is no stopping me. Welcome to #thejumpoff this is something I can’t help but be passionate about and I want to share it all. This is the day I vow to blog once a week. With a special report every 260 days. One for homeschool portfolio sake and two to share with my children and inspire others for real who don’t want to waste three years like I did to get it right for the love of their children. When you decide to homeschool it is a serious undertaking and when you don’t have a clear vision, mission or plan of attack, money time and energy get wasted. You doubt yourself, give up, and regret too much. Life is too short for any regret.

I have had this blog for many years I wanted to help victims of abuse but I never identified as a victim and felt I was making people feel ashamed or I was being preachy. Then I wanted to blog about my real estate business. My heart was no longer in making money. I got tired of the long hours and just wanted to be with my children. Thinking of Katy Perry, yes we are all chained to the rhythm,  but I am not running on a hamster wheel anymore. I am free. I hope I can inspire others to be free sooner rather than later.

Short and sweet. I was a nerd in high school. Apparently, I was beautiful enough to go to prom four years in a row, but I was never invited to any other party throughout the school year. I had one boyfriend of whom I dated because I liked his mother. I thought I would marry him until time to fill out college applications. (I  did, he didn’t.) I was accepted early admissions.
I was a lone wolf. I had my share of escapades in college and still no party invites. Now I have two kids and four men including my ex wanting to be with me and two asked me to marry them. Just in the last two weeks. Still no party invites, lol I guess they know I am not the beat around the Bush type and got straight to the point. That was refreshing, but gesh is it so wrong to want to be whooed even for a little bit? Update July 2017 still not married. Still very much happy.

Today I wake and reflect on the past year and the path I wish to take in the year to come. I rediscovered Dr. Sebi and cell food and why I originally wanted to go to Central/South America. Again I am faced with a challenge I want to build a house and travel. Which order should come first? De. Sebi has died so I can’t meet him, but his sanctuary still stands and knowledgeable people still reside there with his spirit and integrity.

My ex husband is back in my life. We did a trial run and it is clear although he has grown we still are not yet on the same page. His week long stay and five months on weekend sleepovers made me realize I really need a house of my own. Where my pets and children have space. I am still a tiny house enthusiast so I don’t want nor need or desire a large estate. I found a quarter acre and seriously considering it. I can travel and carve out the details of a earthen home. I can delegate. I don’t have to do everything myself to prove self-sufficiency.

I currently live in an apartment surrounded by those who mock and ridicule because they don’t understand me. I need to be able to go sit in the grass in my front yard and stare at the sun or meditate. The negative energy is overwhelming. I don’t care what they think but my body feels like it burns from their stares. Maybe I need to practice pushing it away. And one day someone might join me. 🙂 that would be ideal but these fools might call cps and the asylum on me. 🙂 love to them all they might find the light and peace of calm.

i bring out the best in him he brings out the worst in me that can not be healthy. but the sex is great. the physical abuse has stopped. now what? the kids love him being around. i love him being around. still not healthy. how do i distance myself. how do i assert my independence not co-dependence from him? sex confuses things. i need a new lover. how do you do that without upsetting the children? i will work through these issues and try to find solustions. as this applies to a relationship with an older abuser with a critical illness. if your abuser is your age and healthy i strongly suggest cutting him off sexually, going out and finding a new partner. ask these questions to yourself.

does he make me feel safe? does he make my kids feel safe? is he emotionaly available as i need? if the answer is no and it has bee three months let him go.

why take advise from me? i am with my past abuser at this time. he is 16 years older then me. he is 50 and has cirrosis of the liver and is afraid of dying alone. i have studied psycology and know the signs. younger heathier abusers will not change as psycology dictates they just want to manipulate you for their own needs. older abusers dnt want to die alone and more willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish that end. why am i with him if i know this fact? short answer my two sons and sex. i am compartmentaizing. i know how to separate love and lust. four years without sex can make you desarate. i have settled. do you want to settle? i really hope not. i hope you are strong enough to know your worth and leave him alone.

i am still activly seeking a long term partner and he knows and understands but there is a lot of foundation work that took place to get to that understanding. i will try to recap in future posts.

The boys’ father has made a return to our lives and has turned everything upside down. He is turning fifty and found out he has cirrhosis of the liver. Yeah he had a change of heart and he actually apologized without being asked. I was depressed for a while after my father died at the beginning of the year. My apartment was in disarray, and after one phone call of e crying to him he actually showed up and helped me. I cried for two days after he left. You think after 4 years I would have hated him just the same you never forget the bad things but damn it he reminded me why I fell in love with his dumb ass. LOL I guess him getting sick made him realized a few things about what is important. We got into a fight this weekend but it  was different he talked not yelled. I know my head is telling me don’t trust him and our relationship will never be the same but my sons know that their father can’t stay here long term but at least he is in their lives now. #littleblessings

I can’t believe as slow as 2015 felt it went by without me making a single post. I completely forgot about my poor posting duties. I tired VEDA in August. lol wait that was 2014 as well. WOW just wow so much and I didn’t document a moment here.

January

I turned 31 YEAH I did absolutly nothing. I bought a cake from schwan’s I posted it on facebook. My oldest lost his second tooth on my birthday LOL i told him it was his birthday gift to me. SAVED my self some tooth fairy money. 🙂

All year in a nutshell i did a lot of research into spirituality.

February

Discovered spirit science on youtube. Spent the next two months watching and absorbing and learning. the boys loved it so much we started doing yoga in the evenings before bed together.

March

The boys discovered Krishna videos on Youtube as well. I was getting hot and heavy into bitcoin. Bitnation, bit-governance, Anarcho-capaitalism and free states. the block chain is off the chain LOL.

April

I discover Tiny house nation. I buy a Toyota minivan. I had no idea i wanted a mini van so much until i found this one. i drove all the way to mayfield road to get eh A/c fixed and was surprised with a free rental. I have decided i want a brand new car this 2016. This is the month i was hot and heavy rediscovering my love of architechtural design. a new passion in intentional community living. Co-housing projects and going 100% off the grid.

May

I discovered that the sovereign citizens movement is follow of patriots that don’t realize sovereigns can’t also be citizens it is an oxymoron. started studying contract law and to my surprise it is true that i don’t have to pay income tax or register my car and i can go 100% off grid and live 100% free. I discovered some of the best websites in the world. that promote a one world government, but not one based on fear and war.  The venus project in Florida was rediscovered. I had learned about him in college but the media propaganda machine is so strong that it makes you forget things that are important. Subconsciously it was there along and when i found it again with all the other pieces it just clicked.

June

This is teeball time. The boy love participating in all the neighbourhood activities. Swimming. and learnign how to swim I tried but they were too scared. I try so hard to eliminate fear and shame out of my children’s lives but I have to let them go outside and sadly i am not surrounded by like minded parents. My youngest is so happy that he doesn’t have to go to school and loves homeschooling. We do a lot of projects centered around history and building the tiny house. Both boys are super excited to move into a tiny house. I found some videos on youtube that have the perfect mix. They are still giving me ideas about what they want in their tiny house. This christmas 2016 will be the best tiny house christmas yet.

July

I put my new found contract law skills to the test. As I home school and a very open spiritual non-denominational non-religious parent I discover now that I agree with Unitarian Universalism or Universal Unitarianism LOL either way, I am still not fond of traditional churuch, but there is a baptist church that has a bus that comes to our neighborhood and picks up those that might not have transportation. My boys wanted to ride it simply because it was a bus and they have not ridden a bus since daycare for a field trip. They had to go. A week of bible camp and they can ride the bus. Fine by me I will follow in my minivan.
on the third day of camp I was not in the mood to sit on the bus so I was going to follow behind. They didn’t want my youngest to ride the bus as a liability since he was not 4 yet. While waiting for the bus to pick up a load of kids a cop stops next to me and asks me where is my licsense plate I go throught he spiel that i don’t need one and not legally required to have one. The battery died to I let him tow it.

August

I go to court over the unlawful impound and win. No fees at the court or the impound HAZAH I cracked the code. My father soon after calls me at 3am; he has fallen and can’t get up. I pack up the kids and we go help papa. I am now parked on CMHA property with no plates on my van for 30 days. I am an eco nut. We are walking distance to everything why drive when it takes less time to just walk across the street then to talk to the car in the parking lot? CMHA Tows it. I have now been sleeping on a lumpy couch caring for my father who ultimately can’t do anything for himself anymore. How can anyone go to court and be lucid enough to follow their jargon. I have a high IQ yes and although i have only been studying contract law since what February of this year, Getting my car out of the impound when well rested against the city is not the same as against a private police force. I was humiliated by a black woman in court but she corrected herself after she read my brief. The Male judge was dropping hints he could see I was exhausted and in my writings I had all the key points. (I talked to him about it after the case was over). I had my kids with me all the while so they could see what is needed to be 100% responsible for oneself. I told the prosecutor my situation and They understood 100%. I again had no fees or fines against me or to get my car out. But My car would not start. i was still exhausted. I thought about putting a lien on my car before releasing it to the impound but I had thrown a rod and punctured the transmission before they towed it helping a friend. That was by far the best break down experience ever. not a lot of traffic. plenty of room on both sides and in front for the tow.

September.

I was mad I didnt’ win the case the way i know i could have. i was mad i was too tired to care about the lien. I was mad i had my own bed and couldn’t sleep in it. I was mad I couldn’t home-school the way I wanted to. I was just mad. My dad was in the hospital for 2 weeks after a mild heart attack again. the first was when he fell and couldnt get up at 3 am. i was mad i just spent 6k tricking out my mini van and now I am without a car again. i was just mad. All month long just mad and tired. Because although my dad was in the hospital i still had two kids to take care of and all i wanted to do was sleep.

October.

My dad is out of the hospital and we have physical therapist a home health aid i can get out of there is and do some stuff. Halloween was great. Still learning more contract law and designing my tiny house. trying to figure out where i am going to move to in the world because i cna’t stay in america anymore. The news is getting on my last nerves. I hate cable tv, i have not worked because i am so tired so I am arguing with my father about money. he gets a steady SSI check. I am taking care of him and NOT WORKING he wants to be stingy over 100bucks. I have cats I am not going to get rid of my cats and completely upend my life for him. I just wanted to get some cat food some new shoes a bottle of wine and something else.

Novemeber.

I half assed my way through thanksgiving. The home health aid helped me make it. lol mac and cheese sweet potatoes with marshmallows, um dressing and sliced turkey from the deli. sad part it was the same price as a whole bird but i could cook it in the microwave with gravy. JUST AS GOOD IF NOT BETTER. I might do it again LOL CMHA tried to move us to a single story 3 bedroom home. the physical therapist and all the help has petered out and he is not listening to me so my dad is getting weaker. He is obviously depressed he won’t come out of his room to eat at the table. the boys have free reign over the living room. I live on the couch. My dad doesn’t allow deep couch sitting at all. I am at my point. no sleep he is like a third child but too heavy to carry and too old to coddle. I am not a coddler ask my kids. my youngest falls and just asks for a band aide no tears no nothing since he was 2 HE JUST KNEW. My oldest crys about EVERYTHING. He is so melodramatic. love them to death. they balance each other. I swear they are a reflection of my personality split in half.

December.

CMHA finally finds a place to show us. GUESS what? There was a drive by not to long ago I swear they want to put us in the apartment where the family lived whom just lost their child. NO NOT MOVING THERE, SORRY DAD you need to go to a nursing home. the prerequisite for the nursing home was a three day stay in the hospital to evaluate his condition. TURNS OUT this fool been sitting in his room with pneumonia not saying a word. now I am mad because one i was too tired to be as thorough as i should have been as i do have a degree in holistic health. I am angry because if he would have died and my kids found him i would have never been able to let go of that level of hate for that man. The history with my father is not the best. TO do that to my kids, no no no no no no.

So the 3 day hospital stay turns into a 12 day stay. He moves into the home get settled says he likes it. It is larger then he thought and he is happy that he doesn’t have to share. he has been to jail and that is his biggest fear, dying in a place that is almost like a jailhouse infermary as he would say. I have been at his apartment my cousin sent stuff for the boys for christmas yeah we get home and the kids in the neighborhood have opened one box, says my neighbor. I had no put up the christmas tree yet as of 21 Dec when my dad went to the home. He needs stuff. The Director of the home said they would move his things they didnt so i have to get on the bus to take him somethings. it is an hour and 15 to get there you have to wait an hour to go back because the bus only runs every hour on his street. it takes 10 minutes to walk from his room to the bus stop across the street with no cross walk if the traffic is light. I didn’t put the tree up until the 23 or 24th. I bough new ornaments that is the other thing i wanted with that 100 bucks. the stupid things didn’t have string. i started to use tinsle but after ten i stopped. I was mad the boys had already seen all their gifts. I was mad the ornaments werent’ going on the tree and all the fighting I had done to get them.

Christmas day I made the boys hot cocoa and some popcorn for breakfast after they took the ribbon off the pjs on the skateboards that were left and put them on, they opened the boxes of shoes which were the only surprise left. and once all the cocoa and popcorn was gone they went outside to play found a friend went to their house and i went to sleep until they came home at dark as they are supposed to do. we watch a movie. and i think we ate pizza.

New years was very simple. I bought a bottle of bubblly wine as I call it since i know it is not real champaign. The boys got fizzy grape juice. We cleaned, smudged the negative energy out of the house popped the cork at 6pm (dark) my oldest couldn’t wait, said a blessing for the bubbles to carry our desires for a tiny house and to move away from here into the ether so that it can manifest with good intent and positive energy of happiness.

January.

My birthday was yesterday. I am truly happy as i look towards the aspirations of the coming year. My tiny house will be completed, we will become sovereign, and free to go anywhere we so please. I know how bad my father is, and although i hope he lives to see it I will not be disappointed if he doesn’t because i know he is no longer in any pain.

I have a new computer with a large screen so i am better equipped to multi-task again. someone asked about sharing my blog so I shall try to do it again. I want others to see that there is a solution to the police brutality and violence is no the answer. if every one educates themselves about the rules and how to execute all will be well. Learn the script and there would be no more Sandra Bland’s. It only takes a few Public notices/affidavits filed with the county clerk and that is it. maybe if you want a uuc-1, and several other forms if you want to stick to the current system. I will be filing those simply for my father, but i want full separation for myself.

I unschool so this is not a real homeschool blog this is just my journey.

Brightest blessings to you from the BLESSED EARTH ELEMENTALIST TRAINING CTR. (home-school) apart of the Blessed Earth Community Development I don’t know if i will make it a trust as of yet. but it will remain and unincorporated non-profit.

http://www.doyoueven.com/2014/09/its-not-easy-being-overweight-obese-mother-on-government-benefits-demands-more-money-to-help-her-diet/

The above link goes to a story about a woman that says she needs more taxpayer money to eat healthy and loose weight. I do get food stamps and WIC and I eat healthy. So I am going to write about how anyone else can do the same without any BS excuses. I also have a thyroid condition and very little doctor assistance with that and my abdomen muscles have separated and I plan to repair that so that I can get this little bit of weigh back off. Once I get it all together I will start. OH AND of course I will have to sprinkle in my kids diets and our routine. I homeschool so this will be vary interesting. i will pair with a jvideo blog as well

Ha!! The lady that works in the meat department, at the grocery store, told me that yesterday when I told her I was home schooling my kids all the way through, grace willing. This comment came of course after Nathan and Tony ran in a circle chasing each other singing, laughing, and yelling as I looked over some steaks. Yeah, I told them to stop but hey sometimes you have to just let them go a bit to get out of the store faster. They had not taken a nap because we had a doctors appointment. (it was at 1pm I thought it was at 2, go figure) Since we walked to the doctor; Nathan road is bike, another reason to try to get out of the store quickly, (no bike lock) I said I would stop at the store to get them a lunch-able. Of course being that I don’t have a car anymore to do the large monthly haul I have to do weekly meal pick ups, so I got a jump on net week.

I digress. Back to the point. I am so ready to let my kids go. I let them go everyday, I am an advocate for independent child rearing, no matter how young, of course I do what i am supposed to do they can’t do everything for themselves at ages 5 and 2 but they can pick out some clothes and dress themselves and we can discuss what we will be eating for meals. I want to let them go. I want to see them thrive, but I am not putting them in the school system in its current state. I care to much for my children to do that to them.Education is too important. I am, as I guess they would say old school in my approach. I want my children to be better than me not worse off. I am surrounded by parents that don’t seem to think that an education is important. NO STRIKE THAT they want to educate their children on the ins and outs of getting over on the system and living on welfare the rest of their lives. They have no desire to instil a solid work ethic. Now if you knew that kids like that attended the school your child would attend and the teachers are unhappy and unqualified to deal with this type of child, one who is rasied to have no respect for other adults, would you sacrifice your little bit of “me time” for the sake of your child’s well being in the future?

As and entrepreneur, I have the best possible home school environment to foster a strong work ethic in my children. They see first hand how I handle stress, delegate duties, run my business, manage a budget, and sadly the harsh reality that you can’t trust everyone and everyone is not your friend.