I went shopping in the library the other day for international literature. I found the motherload of Latin curriculum. I am so sorry I was so excited I almost forgot about my blogging again. But yeah for the icon on my main screen of my phone.

It is too easy to just post to Facebook and get likes and immediate feedback. Here I don’t get comments but this is like my diary that I am willing to share with anyone searching for other like minds. I was looking for a like mind, a long time ago, I found her on YouTube. A quiet homeschooling mother that posted videos regularly until she posted the right title that got the perfect hit.

I have talked about following the international Baccalaureate philosophy. I had philosophy and a more complete world view. I want to teach phonics and language through history and politics with philosophy, of all things. I want to hand my children a book and have it be a decoding adventure. Keeping their minds stimulated with questions of culture and purpose. What is the origin of that word, why was it spelled that way, and so on. That is how I was taught and why I have a love of reading. I learned latin in middle school and it changed my view about reading. It made it easier to understand all types of new books. My most accomplished reading, since I didn’t learn to comprehend what I was reading until after my first and last trip to summer school before the fifth grade, was the triumph of Pythagoras theories in tenth grade and “chromosome6 in the ninth grade. Latin came in handy big time. Chromosome6 had a plethora of new vocabulary I decoded without a dictionary. I want that for my children. I want them to read works of literature in their original language to discover for themselves how language, in context and original tone changes so drastically through time.

“Your son is gay” . When did a word that meant happy 100 years ago become a derogatory term? I politely confirm their ignorance by saying my son is very happy and will not be made ashamed for his jubilation. My son can be too gregarious at times, but he is eight. Sexual orientation should not be an issue until puberty Thinking back now, I was always the dad when playing house with my friends, I was never girly and hated wearing dresses, my voice was not high or shrill, I was a girl that preferred to logically analyze and explore through doing. I have an engineer’s mind. That doesn’t make me a lesbian at age eight because I like so called boy things. My son likes to create and design clothes for his elaborate plays, he has scripts and wants to write books. When the thing now is girl power movies and Princess out the wazoo and magazines in their store checkout are about women fashion not men what do you expect him to fantasize about, when he is bombarded by female empowerment and his mother is a strong influence? Yeah my son wants to be like me!!!!! I teach him why he can’t have babies. I remind him that his costumes can be great additions to plays. I don’t degrade him for wearing a skirt because we call it a kilt. His father is part Irish and we have studied togas. I know my baby boy wants to marry his female friend when he gets big so stop calling my son homosexual. He could be the next Alvin Alley, but not because you crushed his spirit. A mother can only build a young child up so much, I pray he will never be crushed.

He will have a long time to be suppressed and subdued. We discuss self control, but I want my son to be free. I hate that he can’t fully express himself because of what others think. I want to scream. I don’t want to yell, “so what if he’s gay” , because that reinforces what they think. Any suggestions?

So on my search for the right books in the library I stumbled upon “the cat in the hat” in latin, and Discovering languages in latin.  Although memorial press was my initial go to for Latin and rhetoric the library offered a free fun version with an extra I never thought was possible. Score!!!!!!

Therefore, the curriculum has spoken. Discovering languages series will be my language history source. They have all the roots of english language. Together with logic of english inspiration on how to teach spelling rules, the konos curriculum outline for unit study to integrate character education. Which I might add is hilarious that it was  the FIRST curriculum I found when searching about homeschooling. The circling back around is mighty these days. The big ideas for kids has brought the secular philosophy of religion in clear view, as well as a secular backbone to replace konos bible verse backbone. I am on fire with excitement. I have my music lesson source and found inexpensive portable keyboard and inexpensive violin. It includes music history too. I am blazing with excitement. Update: (I just found a live music school that is free!! They offer music discovery. Joyful noise…) Still on the fence about art. And I think my main for math and science will be Kahn academy and ck12 I had downloaded the books when my oldest was five. I repeat the circling back is serious. I watched a TedTalk about the creation of khan Academy and remembered why I wanted to use it in the first place.

I have come to the conclusion, after envisioning my future when my non-profit gets established; I need to get my holistic Heath veterinary degree from the same college I took classes for my holistic health practitioners degree before my divorce. This man is back in my life and I want to do a similar thing. I feel he has grown enough that we can make it work. It is so beautiful how things work out. I can’t wait for the new year. (I wrote this before he chopped up his ring finger). I am still certain things are better. We talked and cried, a real sincere break through occured. 

Doug lied to me to get the boys in trouble. I called him on his lie and instead of apologizing he called me dumb started throwing his axe body spray and caught the cord to the fan and proceeded to cut through his ring finger. How poetic after he keeps taking about marriage? He will never forget this moment moving forward. I hope he makes some serious changes for the better. I feel he got what he deserved. So many bad decisions. So many temper tantrums. It is time for him to grow up and be a real man. Not this lying sack of brat shit. Yes brat shit. He is a spoiled brat keeps calling me and still won’t be sincere in his apology. He apologized to get me to call the ambulance for him. All his talking and boasting. All that bravado. He thinks he is hot shit. He likes when people are afraid of him but that is not out of respect. That is misguided. I don’t want him to loose his finger the scares will remind him of his bad attitude lack of respect and bratty behavior.

Yes I am angry, no I am not going to keep him from his children. I wish he had not hurt himself so bad. I feel something this drastic had to take place for him to change. My talking, begging, pleading, and reasoning was not getting through fast enough. He is almost 50 and keeps defaulting to the adolescent stage of rebellion. I love him and want the best for him. He deserves to be happy. I don’t know why he refuses to make the changes on his own to keep the drama away. He had been doing well with others but not me. Now I think things will change.

Let me say hallelujah!!!!!!! I am down to 200lbs. The fabulous app and 8fit and my half my body weight in ounces of water of course I eliminated processed foods and excessive sugar. And I drink herbal tea blends. All those things have propelled my progress. I remember I was 218 lbs when I started tracking my weight loss. I was heavier then that like 260 lbs wow that is a lot. I stopped looking at the scale. Oh the walking everywhere. I don’t own a car. Exercise does help, although I have been sitting on my butt for a week with a sprained ankle so bad I can’t feel my toes and there is tingling up my calf.  I have all the best luck. The best part. I have no excuse for having work pile up. Grant applications get completed. Kids get to cuddle more and read more books with me. I come up with more money making ideas. Hazaah!!!!!

Short. Sweet. To the point. I lost weight. I am closer to my goal of being back to before babies weight. I will be a sexy and successful 40. Lol.